On the evening of January 1st, I pulled out 12 cards from my Initiatory Golden Dawn deck to forecast the upcoming year. But instead of posting it here, I wrote them down in my planner to kinda meditate on as the months goes by. The card for January's forecast [theme?] was the 9 of Cups - The Lord of Material Happiness.
Which I found confusing at first.
January is often regarded as a transitional period for a lot of people. It's the start of a New Year, after all. For me, I rang in the New Year of 2010 in a different country- the start of a new stage in my life and education, so naturally that would be pretty exciting, right?
But as of late, January has also come to represent a lot of emotional baggage.
2015 saw my being unduly let go from the job I was counting on to aid in my application for residency.
2016 saw my return to the country of my birth for the unforeseen future, the end result of 2015's death knell to all I had known to be stable. I was leaving behind a community, friends, and the love of my life. I returned home newly-married, but horribly lonely, and as if my freedoms would be confined again.
2017 was an upswing to be sure- through a change in fortunes and months of grit, I was able to return to Canada, and I was happily back in my husband's arms. I looked forward to restarting the momentum I had lost with all of my projects, and hoped to be back on my feet in short order. What once had traction had now died in the water- and sometimes I languished in the unknown with frustration. It took me ages to get to a point where I felt some sense of progress [and thus, stability] in my life. And admittedly, thinking about Januarys in general -as the herald of yet another period of change, the repeating cycle of waiting for the next proverbial shoe to drop and ruin the best made plans- kinda depresses me. And the shit weather doesn't help matter either!
So you can imagine my initial confusion at pulling the 9 of Chalices, and why I would be pretty hesitant to read it as a blessing or a forecast of what the month would hold.
As it turns out, I was both right and wrong.
I didn't receive an abundance of riches, or a drastic change in fortune.
I also didn't lose anything, either.
I rang in 2018 in the crowd of a Batman-themed masquerade ball with my husband, blissfully happy beyond words. I had gotten the tickets thanks to my steady employment, now being able to indulge a little with my savings.
Though the momentum of certain creative avenues was now no longer available to me, I was still able to establish new ones, and 2017 was still full of unexpected experiences.
I still had the unwavering support and love of my family, who were delighted to see that I was finally laying down roots and building my own, untethered life. My friends have also been bastions of support.
I still have my health. I enjoy my job. I am still dancing, still being asked to perform. My husband has been making small successes on his own ventures as well, and little by little we are building our future together. Multiple little blessings that once pooled together, are actually an abundance that I should never neglect to treasure. Once I realized that, the gloom that I usually associated with January dissipated.
I thought that the 9 of Chalices was an auspicious sign of things to come, but truthfully it was more of a spotlight on what riches I already have, even in spite of difficulties. It was a worthwhile lesson to learn.
LINDSAY - Black Woman, Wife, Witch and Resident Blogger of DarkLake Tarot~
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